taking things into my own hands

Hello, you remember the work spouse who wouldn't stay at work? Well, even after my husband gently hinted that he was busy at home and on weekends, with the kids (and a wife who wouldn't let him off the hook when it came to housework), sometimes I felt that she was not open to receiving hints. Strange how someone could text something like "Sorry, can you talk?" at night even after having been told the above -- unless it was some sort of crisis. And for that, I told my husband, surely she had her own support group of equally single and entanglement-free friends.

And she seemed to have some sort of emotional crisis every other week -- family, work, friends..... I think it was at this point that my patience ran out. I take pride in not being a particularly needy person, and am not the sort of wife who calls her husband up a few times at work each day. So it felt rather unfair that while I resisted calling him up just to chat, and tried to resolve problems on my own at home, this girl seemed to have no compunction about unloading her problems onto my husband -- at work and afterwards.

It came to a point where I would jump every time the phone beeped (incoming text message), thinking it would be her. One day, after messaging that my husband was "so sweet" (not to her - it was for something generous he did at work) and should have called her when he went in to work that weekend (since she was there too), I replied that " Yes, I know I married a good man."

You would think that there would have been a shocked silence after that. For me, it was a giddy mixture of defiant elation (at having declared my presence) and trepidation (what if my husband got angry that I was being so obviously curt?) the moment I hit the "send" button. Instead after a few seconds, there was a confused and giggly reply that my husband needed more sleep since he was sending gibberish. Good grief! I wondered when and if the truth would finally dawn on her!

I think revelation must have finally come sometime that weekend, because there were no more messages for the next two days. She did ask my husband the next Monday, if things were alright at home. Being Asian, of course he replied that things were ok but just a bit busy at home so kids and wife would really like his attention so....... She said she found me really scary and wouldn't call him at home UNLESS necessary. (insert a sceptical Hmmmmm) She probably thinks my poor husband married a really bitchy woman.

My husband had asked me before, if he could invite her over to our church group meeting (we meet regularly every week), seeing that she feels there is no meaning in life, save for work (a common enough sentiment in modern Singapore). At this time, I really don't have an answer. I would like to be unselfish and say yes, but at the same time I feel outraged over the anxiety and hurt that she has caused me this past five months (although she was oblivious to it). They're still the best of buddies at work -- I have no doubt, and I still have the weekly emotional meltdown over her.

But -- and it almost shames me to admit this -- striking that one blow to assert my presence and annoyance brought me some measure of resolution, and a somewhat savage satisfaction.